


Soon You'll Get Better

by joeriezeilany



Series: HashiMada Sand Pit [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Arranged Marriage, F/M, Female Madara - Freeform, Genderbending, Hanahaki Disease, Lung disease, No Beta we die like vikings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Surgery, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:00:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24363205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joeriezeilany/pseuds/joeriezeilany
Summary: Even heartbroken and betrayed, Madara will still do everything in her power for her loved one's happiness. If that means hiding the petals she's began coughing up and walking away from the man she once considered her best friend, who perhaps in another lifetime could have been more, so be it.Maybe, just maybe, she can find happiness somewhere else. She's already broken her bond with... him once before. She truly has nothing left now, she may as well let go of the ruins of what once was to set herself free.
Relationships: Senju Hashirama/Uchiha Madara, Senju Hashirama/Uzumaki Mito
Series: HashiMada Sand Pit [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1870315
Comments: 17
Kudos: 60





	Soon You'll Get Better

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiii! So, yeah! Since it's my birthday, I want to share some of the wip fic I have with all you guys!
> 
> This fic is not beta-ed tho, so it's still a bit rough. I'll try to edit by the next chapter and hopefully there would also be beta for this. 😅😅😅
> 
> Ah! And sporadic updates, just like the others I'll hopefully get to share today.
> 
> Also, many thanks to Chaos-Senpai for the summary. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
> 
> Enjoy! :))

The preparations are in order. The wedding would be in an hour, yet here Hashirama is, still half dressed, still waiting for an update, anything.

“Anija, you should get dressed now. You need to be ready soon.” Tobirama stated.

“Is Madara here yet?” Hashirama murmured.

“No.”

“Ah.”

“Anija-”

Hashirama stood, putting on a painful smile. “I’ll get ready. Maybe he’s just running late.”

“.... i’ll leave you to it then.” Tobirama said with a frown, leaving.

Now, alone once more, Hashirama feels like crying. His chest feels too tight. Like it would burst any moment. He doesn't understand why. Madara _promised_ . He gave his _word._ Once given, consider it done. _Madara never breaks his promises._

_So where is he now?_

Getting prepared was hard, too hard on him. He doesn't know _why_ . Lately, it feels like _something_ is going on. Like he’s on the verge of losing something and he’s _helpless because he doesn’t even know what._

The last time he felt like this, Itama died. On his arms. He was powerless. Unable to do something. _Late. Too late. Always late_. 

Taking a deep shuddering breath, he controlled his urges to go out and find Madara. What if something happened to him? What if he’s injured? Unable to call for help? _What if something went wrong?_

_This wedding is important. This ceremony would strengthen the alliance between the village and Uzushio._ Hashirama reminded himself. _For the village. For Tobirama. For the clans. For the future… For Madara._

The next several hours yielded no difference. The ceremony had gone on. He was married now. With Uzumaki Mito. _Senju_ , his mind reminded him. _She’s Senju now. Your wife._

The day turned into night. Tobirama has chastised him countless times by now. _Focus Anija_ , he says. But Hashirama can’t help but _look_ for any signs of Madara. _He said he’ll come. He Promised._

The festivities ended and now he’s here about to spend his first night with his _wife._ But still… no signs of Madara. _He’s not here. He didn’t come._

* * *

Through all those worries and fretting, it never slips to Hashirama’s mind the truth of Madara’s identity. Never once. Maybe it’s because Madara kept up the front of being a man for so long. Or maybe it just rests on Hashirama’s subconscious. Or maybe it really just doesn’t matter. 

Considering that Madara had told him the truth when they were children, it really is quite mind boggling. This writer is facepalming so hard on the idiocy of this tree-man.

* * *

Days later, there’s still radio silence. Not a sign. Not a word. Hashirama _knows_ Madara is capable of sending a messenger hawk. One of his own summons even. _So why?_

* * *

  
  


Madara watched one of her falcons fly. Off to send the mission report to Hashirama. She hopes, with all her heart, that Hashirama would be happy. Whatever happened next, she hopes he’ll be content. 

_The future is right in front of you now, Hashirama. All you need to do is to take the first step. And then after that, everything would follow, my love. It always does._

Madara turns away, off to travel to that remote civilian village in Tsuchi No Kuni. Far enough away that Tobirama wouldn't be able to sense her. Remote enough to be isolated from shinobi, from recognizing her name. 

She pauses long enough to cough up a handful of flowers. Otherwise, she kept on travelling. Barely even sleeping. She can rest later. She’s on limited time. The disease is taking up her heart and lungs, soon enough she’ll drown in her own blood. She can barely breathe at this moment, the coughs rattling her whole frame. Blood drips freely from her lips, she can’t be bothered to wipe them away. 

Madara tries to distract herself. Thinking about the time she found out about the disease. The first time she coughs up her first petal. It was after _that_ fight. After Hashirama chose to willingly gut himself. After she stopped him. For a brief moment, she was terrified. She can’t lose Hashirama. _She just can’t_. 

The first time Madara coughed up her first handful of petals, they were in the middle of the peace talks. She managed to excuse it as a reaction to something Hashirama said.

Her first flower at that cliff, when Hashirama asked her for a name to their Village. Thankfully Tobirama distracted him so that he didn’t notice the blood and the crushed flower.

The first time she coughed up a whole bouquet of flowers, they were walking around the village. Something that they both did so they could keep an eye on it and it’s residents. Hashirama was laughing at something and it struck her how handsome and beautiful Hashirama is. How much she loves hearing him laugh, seeing him glow under the sun. How much she loves to bask in his overall presence. 

Madara was done for. It’s no wonder she developed this disease.

_The Hanahaki Disease._

Information about it is incredibly rare. It’s only because she was the clan head that she has access to the handful of accounts in the clan. It was said that the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. Most of those affected in the clan chose to die. Some gathered the courage to tell their loved ones.

Madara doesn’t want to die. She still has something to live for. She still has to achieve their dream. So children would stop being afraid, so they would live to their adulthood. For Izuna. For the sacrifice his brother made. 

So she turned to the civilians. He clan failed to produce satisfactory solutions. She has to search far and wide for other mentions of hanahaki. Finally, this one old healer told her of another method. Surgery.

The healer said that Hanahaki can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear. And in some cases, the victim’s memories are also wiped out. Everything that relates to the loved one, would disappear. 

Madara admits freely to herself that she’s desperate enough to go through it. The healer, Akane-oba, told her that she performed the surgical removal before, on her own cousin. And it was a success. 

But Akane-oba cautioned about the costs of the removal. The hanahaki is a disease of legends, of myths, that all her accounts of it have always had some kind of cost to the victim. For her cousin, it was the ability to love. He spent the rest of his days unable to feel love, until it all became too much that he committed seppuku.

Madara banked on the fact that the sharingan has a crystal clarity recall. If the worst happens, her eyes would enable her to retain her memories. She doesn’t want to forget Hashirama. She just wants it to stop hurting. So even though she doesn’t love him anymore, she would still be there to support him.

It was this thought that she held close as she followed Akane-oba. Still, if worst comes to worst, oba-chan promised that she’ll help her through the aftermath as much as she can. So even terrified out of her mind, Madara pushed through and trusted her life on this kind old woman. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, thoughts? I wrote this because I am indignant with the lack of Hanahaki in HashiMada, THREE FICS! That's all I ever found! Hjdhfjdhdjndksjs
> 
> More details about this are in the [Discord Server](https://discord.gg/pf39SDd), so if you wanna hangout :))


End file.
